When I volunteered for the library, I was judging essays for a writing competition and this 18 year old kid wrote about his journey to make his ejaculate sweeter by downing a gallon of pineapple juice a day for 3 months.  He kept referring to it as “baby batter”, “skeet skeet” and “splooge”.  He didn’t succeed in making it sweeter, but he estimated that he drank up to 3 cups of “baby batter” a week.

I had to hide the essay from the grandmas and younger volunteers so they wouldn’t be scarred.

princessnecrophilia:

KNIGHTICK POWER: I am so serious when I say that I will unfollow the fuck out of you if I see you reblogging that photo-set of the…

diaxiann:

cutiescream:

diaxiann:

cutiescream:

That is not funny

That is not cute

It is animal abuse

BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT CHOCOLATE

BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE COATED IN CHOCOLATE

Why the fuck do you think birds who get coated in oil die? It’s for the same goddamn reason.

You idiots can have all the…

I just want to point out that no one is forcing the bird into the chocolate

No one pulled the damn thing in

In fact it fully appears to be waddling into the fountain by its damn self

Calm the hell down chocolate is not the damn same as chocolate

Its just a bird making a mistake and it’s fucking funny

It’s not animal cruelty unless someone was holding that bird at gunpoint fucking christ

Oh good. I was waiting for some moron to try and defend this.

Listen here cum-slut, I bet you 5 million dollars that you don’t own a bird. But guess what? I own 7. And I can tell you right now that a bird would never just walk into something like a chocolate fountain. They’ll rarely walk directly into water.

But say that your idiotic theory is correct.

Say it did actually walk into it.

That animal still probably died.

Is that still funny to you? Do you still get your kicks out of knowing that that bird was probably terrified and opening its mouth to scream in that last panel?

And if you say yes then you seriously disgust me as a human being.

1. birds die all the time
2. I own 3, two cockatiels and a cockatoo
3. I dont have 5 million dollars
4. My love for cum no withstanding you seriously need to calm down
5. I wasn’t defending shit
6. see my previous post

“LISTEN HERE, CUM-SLUT”

(Source: screamybutt)